Christmas dreams

May all your Christmas dreams come true

Christmas with Louise

This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. It won first prize!

Woof!

Christmas With Louise

As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of pantyhose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. Every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and headed to an adult bookstore downtown. If you’ve never been in an X-rated store, don’t go. I was there an hour saying things like, “What does this do?” “You’re kidding me!” “Who would buy that?” Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. “Love Dolls” come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I’d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for “Lovable Louise.” To call Louise a “doll” took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise’s pliant legs and bottom. I went home, giggling all the way.

The next morning my brother called all excited to say that Santa had left a present that had made him VERY happy but not the dog. She would bark, walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose for the rest of the family to admire when they came over for Christmas dinner.

Grandma noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. “What the hell is that?” she asked.

My brother quickly explained, “It’s a doll.”

“Who would play with something like that?” Granny snapped. I kept my mouth shut. “Where are her clothes?” Granny continued.

“Boy, that turkey sure smells great, Gran,” Jay said, trying to coax her into the dining room.

But Granny was relentless. “Why doesn’t she have any teeth?” Again, I could have answered, but why would I?

Grandpa, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, “Hey, who’s the naked gal by the fireplace?” I told him she was Jay’s friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa’s last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a loud, embarrassing, “bathroom noise”. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap on the sofa.

The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother’s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise’s collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.

I can’t wait until next Christmas. Happy holidays!

Let It Snow

Old St Nick

Finally!  I finished my St. Nick rug.  Two years in the making.. a christmas gift. I hope my sister will love it.  She won’t if I don’t get to the shipping center today! LOL

For Remembrance, Rosemary

Herbs are intricately woven into Christmas tradition. Several are brought to us directly from the biblical Christmas tale itself. Myrrh and Frankincense were of course given to the infant Jesus by the Magi. Other herbs such as Sage, for immortality and happiness, Lavender, a symbol of purity and virtue, horehound, representitive of giving good health,  Thyme, a symbol of bravery, and Costmary, also called bible leaf, represents everlasting life- all have also become associated with the holiday. But perhaps the best known herb associated with Christmas is Rosemary… the herb for remembrance.

It’s beauty is as classic as a Christmas tree.  It’s piney, camphorous fragrance can fill a house as quickly as that of balsam.  And it’s association with Christmas is far older than that of the familiar poinsettia.. rosemary is believed to be one of the herbs in the manger that cradled the baby Jesus.  What better herb to keep on hand during this season when friends and family gather together to celebrate and look back on yet another year together?

Flowering Rosemary

Potted and decorated with tiny twinkly lights becomes a tabletop Christmas tree or deck the halls with sprigs of rosemary entwined in your mantle greenery and wreaths, or flavor Yuletide cordials and wines.  A sprig of rosemary tucked into your holiday christmas card or under a ribbon on a gift box saying, ‘remember me?’.  Those who are clever enough will understand the message.

“Rosemary is to the spirit as lavender is to the soul”, an old saying goes, and I do admit I feel a gardening ’spirit’ as I brush up against my rosemary pots growing.  Of all the herbs I grow, rosemary blooms in the bleakest of times.. our New England winter.  But as I brush against the foliage, its fragrance reminiscent of pine forests is always uplifting and refreshing to me.

Molly by Golly

Ms Molly

A doggy Christmas

Any dog lovers out there?

Christmas Prelude — Snowy Buoys of Cape Porpoise

Wow, what a busy weekend! The celebration of Christmas Prelude and I finished my last three shows of the year! It was a super sunny day for visitors and shoppers alike.  So I stole away a few moments to take some shots.

Christmas Dory

Port Christmas Wreath

Cape Porpoise Lobster Trap Tree

I just knew as I was typing my last post….  something was in the air–late  Saturday afternoon that white stuff began to fall.  The timing was so perfect for Santa’s arrival via lobster boat, carolling and the tree lighting.   Looks like we’ll be seeing a white Christmas after all. Now where did I put my hat and mittens?

Cape Porpoise -- snowy buoys

Counting down

Only a month until Christmas! Would you believe folks are already counting down? I can’t even get into the spirit of the holiday until I need to wear my hat and mittens.  Who would have thought so much would still be blooming in the garden around here?

I guess I’m just trying to squeeze as much our of fall as I can.  So every warmer than normal day always brings me down to the farm just to see what’s hanging in there.  It’s a gorgeous unseasonably warm day here, sunny 68 degrees with high winds.  So after I got off the beach for my walk I headed back down to the farm.  Today I harvested more of the kales, peas, some salad greens, rosemary, tarragon  & parsley.  In the cold frame, the second sowing of beets, shallots, and carrots are doing splendid.  And here I was only hoping to be able to harvest up until Christmas.. but the way things are growing.. perhaps even a bit longer! The lovely calendula continues to drop their seed and re-sow and continue to provide sunshine  in the garden, even if we can’t always see it in the sky this time of year.

December calendula

Secretly, I wish we could jump right back into Spring with the exception of snowfall on Christmas Eve or day.  Time will only tell. But I can hope

Bring a little sunshine

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather–always bring your own sunshine.

Bring a little sunshine -- Darcy & Tanner

Would I kid you?

No kidding..

See, I told ya so.. a snowflake